Most survivors, unless they are in a crisis, do not put much thought into what happened; the people, places, things, and reactions to events that have long-shaped their life. But if you have not yet taken a look at what traumata shaped your personality, behaviors, fears, and ways of responding in life, Step Four is a good opportunity to stop and think about it. Perhaps you have reached the day when you realize that you are not living your life as you really want to. Perhaps you feel a deep inner longing for healthy, secure attachment, love and a more kind relationship with yourself. You may experience a longing for life as you were told it was supposed to be but you have no evidence that you are living such a life.