make amends

STEP TEN Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Step Ten is not about maintenance, because there is a rule in our universe that nothing ever stays the same.  All living matter is either in a process of growing or in the process of regressing.   Up until now, if you followed the first nine steps with an honest heart and the direction of a Higher Power, you will have grown considerably.  If you do not keep growing, you will start sliding back into your old behavior patterns and ways of thinking.  As you may now realize, spiritual growth is an experience so precious and valuable.  As with the preceding nine steps, the Tenth Step is one more power-tool to help you succeed during the day. 

STEP EIGHT Made a list of all persons you had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step Eight is about unfinished business.  This step sets the stage for you to relate to yourself and others in a new way.  The first order of business here is to define “harm” and “amends”.   Harm includes the following:  damage, impairment, wound, injury, trauma, and change for the worse, any act of sexual abuse, incest, physical injury, and psychological harm, financial or emotional damage.  It is the act of spoiling something, or damaging someone.  If you committed harm the way to restore the balance is to make an amends.  Amends includes a verbal acknowledgement of what was done, accompanied by a change in behavior.  The change in behavior should mirror the opposite of the harm done.