unfinished business

STEP NINE Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

Step Nine is no different than the other steps, and it reminds you once again, that you cannot overcome personal difficulty alone.  You have prayer as your constant companion to get you through.  You pray for the willingness to be willing, whenever you find yourself not willing to take the next right action.  If you have people on your list where there has been, or still is, mutual harm being done, you may have difficulty with this step.  There may be people on your list for whom you do not feel it necessary to make amends.  You may simply not want to.

STEP EIGHT Made a list of all persons you had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step Eight is about unfinished business.  This step sets the stage for you to relate to yourself and others in a new way.  The first order of business here is to define “harm” and “amends”.   Harm includes the following:  damage, impairment, wound, injury, trauma, and change for the worse, any act of sexual abuse, incest, physical injury, and psychological harm, financial or emotional damage.  It is the act of spoiling something, or damaging someone.  If you committed harm the way to restore the balance is to make an amends.  Amends includes a verbal acknowledgement of what was done, accompanied by a change in behavior.  The change in behavior should mirror the opposite of the harm done.